Relationships & Covid-19: Infidelity

Infidelity, an affair, or cheating, is having sexual or emotional involvement with someone outside of a committed monogamous relationship. It causes deep emotional wounds and often leads to relationship breakdown.  

With the Covid-19 pandemic causing increased stress for many people, relationships are suffering. Stress, whether shared as a couple or experienced individually, impacts relationships negatively. It causes conflict, irritability, or withdrawing. Some people turn to poor coping strategies such as substance abuse, numbing out on technology, or indulging in junk food.

Stress can lead to a decrease in relationship satisfaction, and decreased relationship satisfaction can increase the risk of infidelity.

Why do people cheat?

• Relationship dissatisfaction is one risk factor. Other motivators and/or risk factors include attempts to increase self-esteem or autonomy; a desire for more frequent sexual interactions, and a desire for a variety of sexual partners.

 
How does infidelity impact relationships?

• damages trust and attachment security
• causes financial challenges
• leads to a strained sexual relationship
• In extreme cases, can lead to divorce or separation
• In extreme cases, can lead to violence in the relationship

 
How does infidelity impact the individual?

• loss in self-esteem (feelings of shame)
• behavioural symptoms (avoid activities, social isolation, suspiciousness)
• emotional symptoms (sadness/depression/anxiety)
• physical symptoms (stomach distress, headaches, sleep disturbances)
• sexual impact (feelings of inadequacy, loss of libido)

 
How can counselling help?

• Managing and regulating emotions - anger, grief, shame
• Facilitating forgiveness
• Focusing on emotional reconnection with partner
• Rebuilding trust and relationship security

 
With the right intervention, some couples recover from the trauma of infidelity stronger than they were before the affair.

How is your relationship weathering the pandemic?